Sex Lives of SEOs – The Inside Scoop
Humor February 6th, 2007
[Note: links are all safe for work]
We all know that there are lots of sexy SEOs and even some sex goddesses, but what do you really know about the sex lives of SEOs? Well, here’s the inside scoop:
1. Screwing. You might think that with their quiet lives sitting in front of a computer all day, SEOs don’t get much action. But nothing could be further from the truth — SEOs get screwed a lot – especially by Google.
2. Masturbating. You’re not a good SEO unless you’re a good master baiter. A master baiter is not to be confused with a wanker.
3. Hand Jobs. Sometimes masturbating just isn’t fulfilling. After all, why do it yourself when you can have someone do it for you. Although they deny it, Google is thought to give hand jobs from time to time.
4. Circle Jerk. Circle jerks can be better. You might even end up in an accidental foursome.
5. Prostitution. Some SEOs resort to online prostitution. There are many types of online prostitutes: link whores, comment whores and even social marketing whores.
6. Safe Sex. With all of this sex going on, you’d think that SEOs would practice safe sex. However, in the SEO community, condoms are frowned upon.
7. Porn. Of course the safest sex is to watch it rather than do it. Randfish kindly offers cheating wives and upskirt videos on his blog. Or, you may simply want to see Britney Spears naked or Vanessa Fox nude.
February 7th, 2007 at 1:21 am
Wow..nice write up.i was really confused and excited when i heard the title”Sex life of SEOs”.
February 7th, 2007 at 8:39 am
Extremely original, well written and just too funny for words! Great job!
February 8th, 2007 at 5:02 am
[…] Sila lawat ke Aviva Directory blog untuk membaca sepenuhnya humor tersebut Social BookmarkThese icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages. […]
February 12th, 2007 at 4:35 pm
[…] I recently wrote about how SEO and sex go well together. But I seem to have left out one important and related traffic generating strategy: streaking. […]
April 13th, 2007 at 3:22 pm
About time somebody explains this in terms that every dude understands. :p
May 3rd, 2007 at 5:52 pm
[…] Directories also face an image problem because, let’s face it, they’re not sexy. Unlike a lot of other topics, like linkbating, they’re difficult to blog about with any frequency. But again, that does not mean that directory submissions are not effective. […]
May 4th, 2007 at 9:36 am
lol… nice article.
I came to your website looking for strongest directories and then end up reading this :D
Good stuff.
Cheers,
Tony
May 16th, 2007 at 7:47 am
Hey thats really funny article.
:)
May 17th, 2007 at 1:30 pm
Extremely Scientific way of presenting things, I like writing style, Good work.
June 12th, 2007 at 9:47 pm
[…] Well, it should go without saying, but frankly the position taken by the Quick Buck crew is asinine. It’s Rand’s tool and Rand’s site – he is free to do whatever he wants with it, even offer cheating wives and upskirt videos. We are fortunate to live in a free country where people have freedom to control their own websties. However, this does need to be said, as currently a poll about this on Digitalpoint shows 11-15 that SEOMoz should be considered a member of the Quick Buck Crew. […]